Wednesday, September 2, 2009

5 ridiculous stories in 2009 NBA offseason

Presumably because it is the offseason, some of the wackiest stories in the NBA seem to surface June through August.

I guess everyone has too much free time on their hands to stay clear of the news cameras.

The 2009 NBA offseason was definitely no exception. Here are five of the most ridiculous stories surrounding the NBA to emerge over the summer.

5). Davis’ laptop stolen.
Is Los Angeles Clippers’ star Baron Davis (photo, left) still crossing his fingers?

According to his attorney, Davis’ jacked laptop computer contained a “variety of private images of (him), his associates and his colleagues.”

Seemingly so distressed about the thievery, Davis summoned his attorney to immediately send out letters warning media outlets they’re subject to litigation if the point guard’s embarrassing files and photos are published or sold to another party.

The two-time NBA All-Star apparently must have some heavy personal stuff stored on that hard drive.

4). Jefferson gets cold feet.
Calling off a wedding’s nothing new. But hours before the $2 million occasion? That’s heartless.

Although the San Antonio Spurs’ newest key acquisition Richard Jefferson disputes the timetable and the actual cost of the event, he can’t dispute the coldness and shamefulness in his actions.

“He called two hours before the wedding. It was nuts,” one of Jefferson’s close friends told the New York Post.

Jefferson can’t be all bad, though. He did reportedly give his jilted bride a make nice “six-figure” sum to move on without him in her life.

3). Miller called homewrecker.
Former NBA long-range bomber Reggie Miller better watch his back from now on.

Sure, the TNT analyst was unscathed this time around, but most men usually don’t play around when it comes to boneheads flirting with their women.

So what Reggie’s the 12th leading scorer in NBA history and drained the most threes ever in the league?

He could still catch a beatdown.

According to the restraining order filed against him, Miller waited over an hour in a grocery store parking lot for the engaged woman and sent her 53 text messages in a four-hour span.

Reggie called it simply flirting, but it sounds more like simply stalking.

2). Dirk’s ex-fiancĂ©e gets 5 years.
Poor Dirk Nowitzki (photo, right). It seems he just can’t win.

In spite of his efforts of continuously leading the Dallas Mavericks to the playoffs and one of the top records in the NBA every season, the 7-foot German still hasn’t captured that elusive championship after 11 seasons in the league.

Now, his ex-lover is sentenced to five years in prison. To make matters worse, the 39-year-old convict may be pregnant with his child.

At 31-years-old, Dirk’s playing days are dwindling in the NBA. So now there’s a chance the longtime Maverick could retire heartbroken as well as title-less.

1). Nike seizes dunk tapes.
LeBron James may well be the best basketball player on the planet, but even he’s not immune to being posterized.

At first, Nike officials confiscated the dunk tapes, claiming it was against the rules to videotape after-hours pickup games at LeBron’s camp. Then, the sports appeal giant returned the seized tapes, reiterating it didn’t take them because the Cleveland Cavaliers’ superstar was dunked on.

So what was it?

If the tapes were swiped because of camp policy, then why were they returned? Or, as one of the videographers implied, were the tapes snatched per LeBron’s request?

Whatever the case, in the end it made the royal King James look more like an everyday sore loser on the playgrounds than the 2009 NBA Most Valuable Player.


  1. What about Stephon Marbury's maniacal 24/7 livestreaming featuring himself eating vaseline and bawling his eyes out?

  2. I moved Marbury's wackiness to my 5 biggest stories of 2009 NBA offseason.

  3. Marbury is top 5... I'd move him in at 4 and drop Rich Jeff entirely from the list